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Pinhead
The Bloody Clans
Joined: 25-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1258
Location: United States
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 Posted: 26-Mar-2002 08:50 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Got another one for you..
D&D group walking along find a chute in the floor. They have been exploring a very odd cavern which Fire Giants live in.
The Theif drops a rock down the chute, and you hear a loud slamming and grinding sound. The Paladin (stooopid Paladin) decides that the enemy they seek must be down there, and jumps into the chute. I take him aside and roll a few dice then tell him what happens and he returns to the table laughing his head off.
The other folks decide that they want to get in on the fun start also jumping into this chute.. everyone except the Thief who decides that the party is just stoooopid (he was painfully correct).
It isn't often you can kill an entire party by them being stooopid enough to follow someone who was just laughing at his own stupidity.
They all jumped into a trash disposal system.
Pin
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"My Blood is not mine to give, it belongs to my Brothers"
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ICER
Clan Hell's Horses
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1663
Location: United States
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| Posted: 26-Mar-2002 12:55 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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HURRY, HURRY, HURRY, Step right up and lose and character.
That is to funny.
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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2753
Location: United States
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| Posted: 26-Mar-2002 18:51 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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What's so sad is that it sounds like an old strip from KODT. In it, the theif sees a giant ruby through an armhole; however, every time someone reaches through the hole, a blade amputates their arm. The theif loses both arms, and the primary fighter his sword arm. The mage then suggests that he and the secondary fighter move up a few tax brackets.
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"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 07:57 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Now they are dis-armed.....
Sir HEnry, would have used an Iron bar after the thief's first attempt.
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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AcidQueen
Capellan Confederation
Si-ben-bing
Joined: 22-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 96
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 08:36 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Oh gawd....
Once there was this party that consisted of:
Marja Ukkonen, 9th-level Priest of Ukko (my character)
Valis Frith, an 8th-level Drow Ranger (a 1st Ed Ranger, no less--with all the phat bennies versus giants. Remember this, it becomes important later)
Thanatar Melairkyn, a 7th-level Dwarven Fighter who wore Boots of Flying and wielded a rather nice warhammer.
Bubba, an 8th-level Human Fighter (who was not the brightest bulb on the whole marquee--he had an INT of 8.)
This party had come to this town and got rooms at the local inn. Marja had negotiated a long-term rate with the innkeeper and told the party "OK guys--after that last combat it has become clear to me that I will need to have some scrolls or potions to help augment my curative powers. I've negotiated a long-term stay with the innkeeper, and will spend the next three weeks writing some scrolls and seeing if I can find a facility to brew curative potions. I really think that it would do you all some good to find some gainful employment in this town for the next three weeks to help augment your personal cash reserves." And she gave them the names of several local merchants and craftsmen that were looking for able help (caravan guards, porters, that kind of thing).
The rest of the party was cool with this EXCEPT for Valis--his player is a serious munchbag (his character was effectively a Drizzt clone, if that tells you anything) who whined at the littlest thing that he didn't like. He eventually got thrown out of the group (something that he's proud of--he sees it as a badge of honor for a group to toss him for some whacked reason).
So the ranger whines and says "I'm not going to sit around for three weeks while the Cleric writes a bunch of lame scrolls, so I'm taking the party and we're going adventuring."
Marja, of course, advised them against this--being that she's the wisest member of the party and all. Valis would have none of it, however, and took the two fighters and went off in search of treasure and experience.
They ran into 12 hill giants, all armed with big stout oaken clubs. Bubba and Thanatar were inclined to run, but Valis had charged headlong into the fray and--unlike Valis--neither of the two fighters were willing to abandon a fellow party member. So they charged in after him.
Now--picture this if you will:
Marja sits at her portable altar with several sheets of parchment, quill pens, and ink. She scribes a spell on a scroll, prays over it to instill the spell in the scroll, and then when finished puts it aside and prepares to start another one.
Just as she finishes one scroll and prepares to start another, the door flies open and the rest of the party stumbles in, Bubba and Thanatar bleeding out various orifices and sporting some nasty bruises (Bubba was at 3 HP and Thanatar was at 1 HP)and Valis holding his arm and whimpering. Valis had taken a whopping 12 points of damage (out of his total of 70ish HP) and then turned tail and ran back to town because he got hit ONCE (for that 12HP)--abandoning Bubba and Thanatar to the tender mercies of the giants, who would have killed them had the two PCs not noticed that Valis--who by that time was about a half-mile away--had abandoned them and then disengaged and run back to town.
So, Marja spends the next four hours casting curative spells on Bubba and Thanatar and binding their wounds while leaving Valis to sulk in the corner.
Finally Valis starts complaining that he's not getting any healing, whereupon Marja rounds off on him and says "I know that your god gives you curative powers, so you can cure yourself. I am trying to clean up the mess YOU made because you are unwilling to do something to help yourself out while I do something that needs to be done to aid this group, and I will not reward you for putting the rest of the group and this town in grave danger (the giants were just outside the town by this point and had set up camp)!"
Needless to say, the Ranger didn't last too long after that.
--Camille.
[ This Message was edited by: AcidQueen on 2002-03-27 15:27 ]
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What part of "LEAVE ME ALONE" is so hard to understand?
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 12:55 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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He should have has his Ranger status removed. Make him a regular fighter and see how he whines after that.
Sir HEnry, hates player that play rangers like Paladins or Cowards...
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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Cadet
ComStar
Lieutenant, SG
Joined: 17-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 495
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 13:47 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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We were playing TacAir and I was on the Allied side. The Russians had been beating the crap out of us and we dug in for their next assault, but we had kept enough air power in reserve to stomp a huge hole in the lines.
Well the guy in charge of Allied air units at the last minute decides he wants to shift those duel units from ground support to air superiority, effectively cutting what air cover we had in half...without bothering to tell us.
The Russians cone through and smash 3rd ID to pieces, we're screaming for ground support only to be told that he had wasted it all on the feint to the north.
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AcidQueen
Capellan Confederation
Si-ben-bing
Joined: 22-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 96
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 15:25 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Quote:
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On 2002-03-27 12:55, Sir Henry wrote:
He should have has his Ranger status removed. Make him a regular fighter and see how he whines after that. |
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This was several years ago, and he left the group soon after that anyway.
--Camille.
(I think I did mention that in my post--the "left the group soon after" part anyway)
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What part of "LEAVE ME ALONE" is so hard to understand?
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
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Location: United States
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 16:09 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Letting him get away, was to easy. Flog and Keel haul him!!!!!
Sir HEnry
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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AcidQueen
Capellan Confederation
Si-ben-bing
Joined: 22-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 96
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| Posted: 27-Mar-2002 17:40 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Quote:
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On 2002-03-27 16:09, Sir Henry wrote:
Letting him get away, was to easy. Flog and Keel haul him!!!!! |
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Whatever.
--Camille.
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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2753
Location: United States
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| Posted: 31-Mar-2002 21:30 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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Where did he sit in the party? I noticed that in one group I played in, the players less likely to screw up (and Ronin, who was DM) sat where they could escape the easiest. However, the one person in the party who tended to make the most blunders always seemed to sit where he would have to either go through a closed window, or 2-3 people larger than him (Ronin included) to escape the beating if it came to it. (He went to his right, it was the mage, me, and then Ronin. To his left, and it was the theif, the cleric, and then Ronin. Except for Ronin and the kid, who was also playing a Drow Ranger, everyone was about my size of 6 foot and 250+ pounds.)
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"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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Cadet
ComStar
Lieutenant, SG
Joined: 17-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 495
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| Posted: 01-Apr-2002 03:30 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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My personal favorites are the time when I have to play with people who refuse to put their units at risk, yet don't think twice about asking you to throw yours away.
We were playing SPI's WW2 game (split into ETO and PTO. What a great game. I can't praise it enough) and I was playing the Italians/minor Axis countries while my buddies were the Germans and Japanese (obviously) and when the Germans got stuck down in Greece, North Africa, and Russia he keep needing my troops to get him out of trouble. So Italy is being bled white in South France (because he stupidly refused to set up Vichy France when he had the chance), North Africa, Greece, garrisioning Italy and my minor troops are all in Russia. He starts to mass for a push on Moscow and flat refuses to come help me out when the British sned in a fleet to clear out the Mediterranian befre the Americans come in.
I begged him to help me out and he just wouldn't because he had to have Moscow, but instead of attacking, he just kept building forces and moving a little bit.
Imagine his and my suprise when the Americans ignore North Africa, liberate Corsica, and land troops in Sicily and Italy at the same time. So while I'm fighting to keep the Allies out of Rome and South France at the same time they attack Normandy and Pas de Calais he has committed so much to this offensive that I really can't do much to stop this. The Russians on the other hand roll through the line the minor powers have set up, crush his forces and he has the nerve to bitch to me that I didn't do enough to help him out.
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Kraken
Federated Suns
Marshal
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 2753
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Apr-2002 16:51 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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I remember a kid who, shortly after he discovered BTech and began playing, wanted to design a mech that had ammo stored in the head with a normal cockpit (therefore, no CASE.)
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"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." -Edgar Allen Poe"I knew there was something special about you, but I never realized you were really a cat." Wolfwood to a random cat (Trigun)
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8050
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Apr-2002 17:25 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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And the issue with that is?
Odds are if someone is rolling for crit on your head the ammo is the least of your worries 
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Hardware
Clan Ghost Bear
Star Colonel
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 605
Location: United States
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| Posted: 03-Apr-2002 22:01 Post subject: So stupid it's funny |
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At least it will be quick and painless.
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