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Vagabond
Mercenary
Mr. Referee
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 5724
Location: United States
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 Posted: 21-Aug-2002 15:21 Post subject: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's art work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor. "
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes", the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty!
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one must work hard to cultivate the mind and body. and one must always cultivate the mind.
//^(^_^)^\\
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Jade_Dragon
8th Sword of Light
Sho-sho
Joined: 05-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1325
Location: United States
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| Posted: 21-Aug-2002 16:01 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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I like the last one 
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The JadeDragon
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Ares
Clan Jade Falcon
Star Colonel
Joined: 20-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 737
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| Posted: 21-Aug-2002 20:05 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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I missed the last one *blinks*
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I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say will undoubtedly incriminate me.
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MEX
Clan Blood Spirit
Star Colonel
Joined: 21-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 440
Location: Austria
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 04:45 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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Quote:
| On 2002-08-21 15:21, Vagabond wrote:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. .... |
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I am sure that in some US states no teacher would argue with his pupils about a whale not beeing able to swallow a human because of FEAR of RELIGIOUS FANATICS which will sue him for such claims 
[ This Message was edited by: MEX on 2002-08-23 07:47 ]
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8072
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 07:34 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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Who said it didn't "happen" in a private school? 
Gotta love Mex's cluelessness about most things American.
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"You all laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because you're all the same" Anon
[ This Message was edited by: chihawk on 2002-08-23 07:35 ]
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MEX
Clan Blood Spirit
Star Colonel
Joined: 21-Mar-2002 00:00
Posts: 440
Location: Austria
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 07:50 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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Quote:
| On 2002-08-23 07:34, chihawk wrote:
Who said it didn't "happen" in a private school?
Gotta love Mex's cluelessness about most things American. |
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I am glad that until now we dont need uniformed guards and weapons detectors at the entrances in our public schools !
Actually most US residents know less about Europe than the average European knows about the States.
[ This Message was edited by: MEX on 2002-08-23 18:25 ]
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Sir Henry
Team Bansai
Senior Tech Specialist
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 4899
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 07:52 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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Isn't a sad state of affairs....
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Sir Henry
A Dragon in the disguise of a bunny, is still a Dragon.
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chihawk
Clan Blood Spirit
Master Bartender
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 8072
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 08:00 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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Quote:
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On 2002-08-23 07:50, MEX wrote:
I am glad that until now in our public schools we dont need uniformed guards and weapons detectors at the entrances !
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Hmmm, schools around here have neither. Guess that disproves your lower statement a little, eh?
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Actually most US residents know less about Europe than the average European knows about the States.
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Have any proof of that statememnt? Never mind, you never have proof for anything you say anyway.
To be honest I'm betting both are just as clueless of each other.
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Horhiro
Draconis Combine
Samurai
Joined: 04-Feb-2002 00:00
Posts: 1625
Location: United States
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| Posted: 23-Aug-2002 18:21 Post subject: RE: DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN |
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those are fricken hilarious! especially the last one
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"I have lived my life trying to be a virtuous man. The Dragon admires tenacity, and the code of the samurai upholds it as well." -Minobu Tetsuhara
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