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Motown Scrapper
Clan Ice Hellions
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 24-Jul-2003 00:00
Posts: 2074
Location: United States
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 Posted: 12-Mar-2005 08:26 Post subject: Words of Wisdom |
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Words of Wisdom
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never eat yellow snow.
Never pet a burning dog.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.' - Alistair J.R. Young
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working for them in the future.
_________________
Having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have-Rush Limbaugh www.rushlimbaugh.com
Force of nature
Still crazy after all these years
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Oafman
Draconis Combine
Tai-sho
Joined: 18-Nov-2003 00:00
Posts: 1657
Location: United States
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| Posted: 14-Mar-2005 14:12 Post subject: RE: Words of Wisdom |
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Thanks Motown.. I needed a good laugh today.
_________________
Festina Lente!
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ralgith
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company
"Ralgith's Renegades"
Colonel
Joined: 18-Aug-2003 00:00
Posts: 2021
Location: United States
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| Posted: 14-Mar-2005 17:45 Post subject: RE: Words of Wisdom |
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Quote:
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On 2005-03-14 14:12, Oafman wrote:
Thanks Motown.. I needed a good laugh today.
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God, me too!! ROFLMAOPIMP!!!!
_________________
Colonel Ralgith t'Mayasara
Blighted Sun Battalion
1st Company 'Ralgith's Renegades'
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