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Motown Scrapper
Clan Ice Hellions
Galaxy Commander
Joined: 24-Jul-2003 00:00
Posts: 2074
Location: United States
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 Posted: 28-Apr-2005 05:42 Post subject: Home Remedies~Words of Wisdom |
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Home Remedies ~ Words of Wisdom!
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto!... the blockage will be almost instantly
removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your significant other about putting the toilet seat down by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your arteries.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan and feed you applesauce.
_________________
Having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have-Rush Limbaugh www.rushlimbaugh.com
Force of nature
Still crazy after all these years
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SaberDance
Federated Suns
Colonel
Joined: 07-May-2004 00:00
Posts: 837
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| Posted: 28-Apr-2005 20:05 Post subject: RE: Home Remedies~Words of Wisdom |
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Some of my gamers probably think like that.
It would certainly explain their approach to prisoner interogations...
_________________
"Politics is the Art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, misdiagnosing the problem, and applying the wrong solution."
-Groucho Marx
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